All That Hope

It was dangled in before me
Like a precious gift
An unsolicited gift
Closer, closer
I can see it clearly
It's transparent
I want to touch it
But it's just out of reach
I realize it is, in fact,
Invisible
I know it's there
But I can't see it
I want it now dearly, fervently
I step closer and lift my arms
My hands grasp where it should be
But it's not there
There is nothing there
There is nothing

All that hope
Placed before me, in my path
All that hope
For something I could never have
All that hope
Slammed me to the ground so fast
All that hope
For which I had never asked
All that hope
Shattered all that life would have left intact
All that hope

Impulse

Impulse

thump
thump
thmp thmp
thmthmthmthmp

thrash bash smash!

"Hi!"
"Hello."
"How are you today?"
"Just fine."
"Just fine?! Why not great?"
Too many smiles
No no no no no!

grab jab stab!

Ubiquitous nosy eyes
Trying to analyze
Please don't look
I'll hide in this nook
But They won't stop
My pulse pops

lash mash gash!

They search for me
thump
Oh no, now They see
thump
Nearer, They're almost here
thmp thmp
Too close, too much fear
"Hey, how's it goin'?"
thmthmthmthmp!

Wuerde

Wenn ich juenger waere

wuerde es noch Zeit geben

Wenn ich aelter waere

wuerde ich mich schon entschieden

Wenn ich gesund waere

wuerde es keine Schmerzen geben

Wenn ich kaputt waere

koennte ich mich aufloesen

Wenn ich anfinge

wuerde es noch Moeglichkeiten geben

Wenn ich fertig waere

koennte ich mich entspannen

Wenn ich glueklich waere

wuerde ich angenommen sein

Wenn ich verwuestet waere

haette ich einen Grund

Wenn ich unehrlich waere

wuerde es leicht sein

Wenn ich wahrhaftig

wuerden sie mich fuerchten

Aber ich bin nicht juenger oder aelter

Gesund oder kaputt

Gluecklich oder verwuestet

Doch ich bin schuldig

und weiss nicht warum